You're completely useless in the revolution.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
