Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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