is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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