That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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