Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
