i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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