I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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