Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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