Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
