This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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