I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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