No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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