Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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