So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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