i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
