He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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