I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This toilet bowl is my home.
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