My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
