ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
