At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
