he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
