Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
