Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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