you guys were way drunker than both of me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
