saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
