i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
