i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
