My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i think i just lost a toe
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize