its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
