If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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