You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
