More tranny stories later!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
