Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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