and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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