I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize