If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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