you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
