I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
