I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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