I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
