They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize