do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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