Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
