Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
