I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think I am morally bankrupt
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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