I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
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Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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