Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
