singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
