They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
