now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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