if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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