I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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