I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
