How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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