Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
