i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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