i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I will pee on everything he values.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
