dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she looked like the before picture.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
