he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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