I just saw a hot homeless man
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
