Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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