Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize