she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
