the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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